Create a "press conference" area at the draft party, league gathering or public place or on Zoom. Bonus points for printing a fake media backdrop with “sponsor” logos

The Loser must deliver a sincere, two-minute prepared statement apologizing to fans, teammates, and imaginary investors for the season’s disastrous results.

The rest of the league gets to fire off as many questions as they want. The Loser must answer all of them seriously — no dodging, no lying, no blaming "injuries" without specifics. We encourage some hard-hitting, capital J Journalism here.

Closing Remarks: The Loser must end the presser by thanking the league for their support and promising to step it up next year, or else.