Write the script - must include dramatic stats, overpromises, and absurd taglines (“I turned a first-round pick into a waiver-wire legend... for someone else!”).

Dress the part and wear a snappy blazer, headset mic, or full tuxedo for maximum late-night credibility.

Film the infomercial: Set up a fake home studio, green screen, or use a friend’s garage—just make it look intentionally low budget.

Include Testimonials: Ask league-mates to film fake reviews (“I watched him draft 3 QBs in a row—it changed my life!”).